rant 8215, 9746, 10261. i'm getting pissed every second i search a job. its all about trends and bullshit and everything i dont care about. my life, man. i could have had a job promoting something i genuinely cared about. i hate that i was cowardly not because i would have to fight my parents, but because i was scared they would fight each other and i didn't want to be accused as the reason they were fighting yet again. i didnt even say anything at that humiliating dinner. i just shut up when they were arguing with each other. i'm so angry at myself because really its not the world's fault it's just that i don't BELONG here, and no one i listen to understands that i just don't belong. it's always hang in there, always i'll find something, always i'll find a job eventually. no no i won't i don't belong here. the only reason i haven't x'd myself is because it's rude to x yourself near your friend's birthday.