I'm failing. I'm too mentally immature to take responsibility and act like a damn adult. I keep making excuses for myself and delaying everything because I'm so scared of change but also exposing myself (work, social and community wise) to the real world. I don't even owe certain things most people my age have and feel like a loser because I can't connect with them either. I suck at talking to anyone, online and in person. My low self-esteem gets in the way; pity parties are often. I'm becoming an inconvenience, as if I wasn't feeling like one already. I'm just scrolling and hoping for stuff I know I need to put an effort to but that's it. I don't want to. Why can't I just work already? Why do I still act like a kid that needs hand holding? What am I waiting for? It's pushes people away and the guilt gets to me. Then I'm alone. I'm aware but I keep blinding myself. I hate it.