I feel like I'm not real. Like everything i do is fake. My reactions, my feelings, my sadness. Its just all an overreaction to me. I feel like I'm seeking attention even when I'm silently crying in my room, or if I'm overwhelmed and scratching my palm where I know no one's gonna look. I like this guy, and he's been making me really sad because he'll reciprocate, then ignore me for awhile. I haven't really told anyone about it. I also ignore people, but when I do, its because I'm too overwhelmed to open my eyes. Let alone think about leaving bed. And i tend to let them know afterwards. I feel horrible, like a hypocrite for being hurt. Or even venting. Even now, I feel like posting this is stupid because my feelings so dull in comparison to everyone else. And its everywhere. I just wanted to put what's been weighing on me lately. Thank you, if you read this far, it genuinely means so much, even if I'll never see if you've done it, aside from interactions. I'm running out of characters -A