Its gotten so bad and now it affecting my sleep again I think the earliest ive fallen asleep this summer is around 1 am . I just feel stuck in this hole again but this time it is so much deeper than ever before. But this time I dont think I can get out of the hole . Its like everything just came at me at once . Its all building up . I dont even know who I am anymore but if i even come close to talking about it its scary because that means its acc a real issue. But ive already set myself up as a person where if i ever try truly talking about something i care about or just opening up people just talk over me . Like im not suppoused to do that as a role . I was so close the other day telling my dad about it but i was to scared and its eating my brain and body alive. Its truly dreading and painful . My stomache hurts even typing this I feel so stupid even doing this but in the end even I know no one truly ever cares . Deep down they might say they do but deep down my soul knows otherwise.