i js bloody hate myself. idk what happens but sometimes a bunch of emotions build up on me and i want to scream. sometimes i want to kill everyone. its not yelling or anything serious but i get frusterated and angry at everyone that im there with. idk if its bipolar disorder and even if it is, i cant tell my family 'cause they'll judge me. i cant tell my friends 'cause practically all of them are fake and im afraid that my only real friend will leave too. i can't do this anymore. is it possible to want to die but still be scared of dying and wants to have a future at the same time? i really really hate myself. i really really want to bloody end this all.