i had a panic attack yesterday in class. i was shaking, it was hard to breathe, and my eyes got blurry until tears started pouring out. I've been a people pleaser my entire life believing making others smile would make me smile but honestly it just never changed a thing about my situation. home doesn't feel like home anymore. constant screaming of anger everyday just makes life tiring. i try my best at school all the time and get high marks but what the fucks the point when my mom tells me im stupid for making a tiny mistake while doing a chore in the house? im tired of it. I'd rather you just hit me without saying anything else. your words hurt way more than physical pain. for fucks sake I've lost hours upon hours of sleep just to study and try making you proud but this is what i get? i just wanted to make you happy. i just want a parent who actually understands what i feel. but instead i seek comfort from others, but i still make mistakes. i have no one else to talk to. my life sucks