I'm starting to suspect that I have depression. I wish I could get my self clinically diagnosed, but I live in a country where mental health is treated as a joke and I cant come to my parents because they would only tell me to pray it off. Im secretly an atheist and it could get me kicked out of my house or force me to join a conversion camp. I don't trust adults and my friends don't take me seriously (more like they don't bother to help me in any way). The only one I told about my struggles is my boyfriend and it was the first time I've talked to him about these things but he only reacted to my message with some shitty crying emoji and it hurts me to this day. I love him but that one thing made me realize how lonely I actually was so please don't tell me to break up w him or smth. Its been like this since 9th grade but it's gotten worse for me now. If this keeps going on I might see a school councillor (if I'm desperate)