i feel like my life is in an up and down. for months straight, i feel like ive been doing so good. but now i feel like all my work and time building myself up gets broken down everyday by something different. my biggest fear, i just want to be a good friend, but i cant help but feel like i draw away all the friends i consider my closest. why am i a bad person? i really dont know what im doing to people, am i meant to be alone? it hurts, i dont like being alone. i feel like everybody eventually changes how they think or feel about me and im just left in the dust again. the girl i thought whod be my bestfriend forever stopped talking to me like we used to, and in a blink of an eye, its been almost two years without a real conversation with her. why do i hold myself back from asking about the truth? if i did something or not? maybe im scared, maybe im not ready to face my own reality of being a bad person. i just want to be somebody's somebody. what do i need to hear?