sorry for the swearing in this btw I was trying to make myself feel better by doing a little experiment but it just made it so fucking worse. whenever my online friends are gone for a few hours, people are always worried and asking if theyre ok, but ive been in an invisible status for days and none of them have even mentions me. ik they all secretly hate me and want me to die in a hole but I wish at least someone gave a damn because I consider so many of them good friends, so for them to not even try to say anything to me makes me want kms so fucking bad ffs. whenever I tell them about my depression they pull the 'we will always be there for you' 'you're the nicest person I know' but all that concern and support goes away when I go offline. for all they know I could be dead and they dont give a shit. its so stupid and I feel like a dick. im so stupid and im a terrible human being. xoxo ill try to sleep