I am scared to kill myself, but I truly want to. I feel too scared to do such because I have no one in my life who I feel like is willing to listen or love me the way I need someone there for me. I've been thinking about going to the closest bridge to me and jumping down into the water and hoping that I faint but live so then I could feel what its like to die before I ever truly die to see if I'm ready for it. but I feel like if I just had someone to call my boyfriend and cuddle me at night while I'm scared would be nice to have and might convince me just to stay for a little longer since at that point I'd have faith that something is going to happen that's worth living for.
frustration4 felt this