I discovered a website where I could vent, post poetry, connect with strangers. I haven't produced anything original in four years because I've been addicted to it. I've been testing ideas that I know wouldn't work in the real world. Of course, reality bit back, and I was treated like a monster for sharing my suicidal and degenerate thoughts by, ironically, suicidal and degenerate teenagers who somehow understand more than me. I've been kicked out of the last social place I had; It's just no longer allowed. I can't compete with everyone else being this down, how can you expect that when nothing you do is ever polished? Everything I do always has a sort of amateur luck, it breaks and rusts. It's annoying to complain, it's annoying to share your feelings. It isn't patriarchy, it isn't communism; any of that woke shit is annoying. You either write with appreciation of the structure, or you stop whining and keep whatever pseudo-intellectualism to yourself, I found.