I'm so fucking angry with myself all of the time. I survived domestic abuse, being Sexually assaulted by 4 different men from the age of 5 until 18, 2 suicide attempts, handled every shitty thing life had to throw at me. I dealt with it all on my own with no support work. Then I meet the most amazing person 4 years ago, build a life with him, buy a home, raise his child, just to go and mess it all up again. I don't earn enough money, I don't work hard enough. I'm too 'erratic' because of ADHD. I'm too 'dramatic and emotional'. I'm too much but not enough. I just don't see the point anymore. I can't go a day without someone being mad at me and I can't escape this overwhelming dread that I will never make it. I wouldn't say I plan to end my life, but I definitely am not going to try and save it. I do so much work to upbeat, to always have a smile. I feel like I've carved so much of myself away whilst everything else has been stolen from me. Just let me disappear.