I keep getting my arms noticed at school and this boy called me "depressed kid" yesterday. Haha, how fucking funny that my arms have marks all over them. I can't do it anymore. My arms hurt so bad, my legs hurt, everything hurts but then feels so numb at the same time. I feel sick, I feel like I cant eat even when I'm starving. I love it when my cuts bleed, when it drips down my arm it feels like all the tension was released. But then, after that it's just red and raw and painful. And then people notice, my mum sees it and gets upset with me, she wants me to cover it but it hurts too much. I miss being happy with my friends. I keep saying ill go to school and talk to them but then I end up cutting my arms and then I can't go to school because it hurts. My attendance is low, I want to achieve things but then I don't go to school. I feel as if its my fault. I can stop whenever I want but I just can't. I feel everything but also nothing all at once every second of my life. It's so tiring.