I don’t know why I feel this way… I haven’t really achieved anything in life at 23; in fact, my only ‘achievement’ was graduating from high school, and I can’t even really see that as an achievement. I haven’t got a girlfriend, I lost my virginity at 21, God… It feels so strange being me. I’m second-rate at my job; I work for my own brother, and my father died when I was 17, but at his funeral I couldn’t even shed a single tear, as I never got on well with him – we never understood each other in the slightest. What else could I vent about? My preference for porn – I’ve masturbated so much that the porn I watch seems grotesque to me. I’ve often thought about ending it all, killing my whole family and committing suicide, yet I often can’t quite bring myself to go through with it. Sometimes I feel like my life doesn’t matter; I’ve got 950 dollars in my bank account, but it seems like such a small amount... My hair started falling out when I was 12, but I never got any help.