After years, I finally had the courage to write and open this up. Lately, I've been asking myself a lot of questions. Am I really good at understanding people and even myself? Do I really have the courage to face everything even when I'm alone? Am I far enough to finally reach my dreams? The answer might be yes, no or maybe. This time, everything feels heavier. To somewhat not able to continue reaching the shared dreams my parents had lived on. They don't put too much pressure on me, but what feels heavy is that they trust me and that is exactly why I cannot fail this one. I somehow ask myself if He is real that my faith has to be questioned by these problems. One thing I know, "This is all part of His plan" as I wipe the tears that continuously escaping my eyes. The truth is that I always yearn for the spark I used to have, the passion I once have, and the intelligence that naturally exists in me. I want to shout; I'm such a loser for expecting too much for myself and for my family :)