i've been wanting to kill myself for around 7 years now. the feeling gets more and less extreme as the days go by so i guess the base feeling is just wanting to go away. to disappear from everyone's life. i don't have a reason to feel this way. i have a great home, i'm leadership in both of the sports that i'm in, i'm well liked by everyone around me, i'm smart, teachers like me, and i have a great and supporting family. i have a life that people envy and yet i despise myself and everything that i do. i'm just unhappy with myself and i don't know why. a lot of people say that i have so much worth to their eyes but i don't see it. i just can't fathom the idea of me being a person worthy of any form of genuine praise. i'm just not worth the time and energy that people put into me. maybe the feeling of self loathing will get better. i mean, i'm only 17. who knows what could happen. i just know that if nothing changes, i'll go through with killing myself and finally be free.