There is just so much. I have been neglected my entire life and just abused and pushed and set to the side, and its so clear and obvious that my brother is the favorite kid. He gets worshipped and constantly praised while i get told to get the fuck out of the way or to get out of the house for finally breaking. Nobody else in my family sees the abuse that has happened over the years and its all so much I can barley explain. My brother had one episode and hurt himself, now my mom wants to hide all the knives but I have been struggling with self harm for years and instead I was told "I shouldn't have to hide the knives because of you." I am so tired and I don't want to be here, my parents sabotage any form of job I have had or source of income and I just want to get out of the house so bad, I just want to finally escape and it feels so impossible. I love my parents but I also hate them so much, I hate all they've done and said to me, i hate it.