I feel like no matter how close I am with someone, they’re going to leave me eventually. They’re going to notice how annoying I am. They’re always going to choose someone over me. I am always the last choice. I’m the backup friend. I’m only there if you have no one else. I just want to be someone’s favorite. A friend to all is a friend to no one, I guess.

I just broke up with my boyfriend, he was bad for me and i was in repeating cycles of shitty behaviour. But i genuinly loved so much, im not sure how to even describe just how much ive loved him over the year and a half we where together. Its taking me so much right now to text him and try to go back. I know logically he was bad for me, I talked to my therapist and everything but we had this deep, like genuinly otherworldly love and connection that ill never feel again with him and it hurts so bad.

hayy, now i understand why I am like this. I understand now, because of this household situation... everyone just gives the silent treatment, avoiding communication and being so avoidant everytime something happens. i'm so sick of this, I don't want to be like this anymore; I don't know where I fit in. I feel like everything I do is just wrong.