"sophmore slump" "you need to use your summer studying if you want to get into college" "start your external essay for ib now" "start prepping for your gcse exams NOW" except if things get any worse i'm scared i won't survive. i hate this so much. i'm not made for all this pressure. i'm scared i'll crack soon but if i get anything less than an A i'll get kicked out onto the streets. i know they will, they've done worse. i used to love learning so much, but now i can't even hear the word school without bursting into tears out of pure fear. i swore i'd stay clean, that i wouldn't scar and ruin this body any more than i have. but crying every day and night isn't cutting it anymore and i'm scared i'll reset all this progress i've made because i was too weak to deal with it like any normal person. i'm scared that if i try my hardest it still won't be enough. i don't want to do this anymore, i can't do this anymore. and i physically can't request for help without being ridiculed.