I am so tired I just finished my exams I am doing work experience I’m in classes I hate with teachers I hate more I tried to cut but barely grazed So I choked myself I’m so lazy I was asked to clean earlier but I didbt, now I’m just sitting by the sink, waiting for what. She’s gonna walk in any moment and see how I didn’t do anything and dissapoint her for just sitting there, like I didn’t even try. My grades are gonna drop I hope I don’t get a 3 for history, If I do I’ll rip my result sheet up I actually tried this time and I feel like I’ll still do shit I feel so heavy and tired, I want to sleep but the dishes are there. Watching and taunting me I’ll just wake up early to clean them. I don’t want to wake up But I don’t want to go to hell I’m a terrible Muslim I don’t pray as much as I used to, when I do it’s rushed and without proper wudu/ablution I try to be better. I want to be.