my mom is dying. my mom is dying. she's dying and even though it's selfish i wish my dad was the one dying. i live with him and i have to fucking put up with him. every single day he's the nastiest fucking bastard to ever exist. our kitchen has so many fruit flies and its because of his inability to keep it clean. i put in so much fucking effort cleaning and he just sits there and plays his stupid fucking political youtube videos and eats his food. earlier this morning i ubereats some breakfast because i felt faint and lightheaded and after he found out he proceeded to scream at me for wasting money when he was cooking whatever bullshit he likes to eat idk. its my own money. i work a job, he's retired and doesn't even make retirement because his ego is so fucking large he held on to a failing business for years and claims to have provided for his family when he hardly did. fuck. I haven't taken my zoloft in a week and the withdrawals are hitting me today. im suicidal again.