I’m pretty sure my mom fucked up any chance of me coping in normal ways and my self perception. She told me that I was gaining too much weight, that shopping wasn’t fun because I was insecure with my body, so I may have picked up an eating disorder of sorts. (she uses weight loss injections) When she found out that I was gay and had a girlfriend (had as in we already broke up) my mom would do this strange thing of threatening to drive to my ex girlfriend’s house to out her. And since her family was as homophobic as mine, I would take that blame of “manipulating” her into being gay to be with me to keep her safe. Stuck with me because now I feel like people can’t genuinely love me anymore without a motive? I worded it weird but I still don’t get why my mom would do that.. She also did the same thing on the way home when she found out I was cutting myself. Feel unsafe around her when talking about why I cut, because I can’t tell her that half time it was her fault. (Not in order btw)