My mental health has me feeling drained. This always happens in the summer. I hardly drink water and eating is more of a chore than enjoyable. So are my passions—writing, drawing, reading, learning. I don’t enjoy it anymore. All the emotions I’ve tried burying for years are boiling over and physically affecting me. I always feel nauseous. Workouts are difficult. I want to cut off everyone in my life, but at the same time I want them all to know how awful I’ve been feeling. I want to tell my boyfriend and open up to him about my struggles, but I’m worried he’ll pull away if I show him how much I’ve been struggling. I’ve been contemplating sh again, but the only things that keep me from it are my boyfriend and two of my best friends. I think about death a lot, and I’m not scared of it anymore. But I know if I just hang on a little longer, maybe something will come my way to keep me from taking a turn for the worst. But I don’t know. I’m just so tired.