Rant #8192

i made my best friends mad today, and i dont know what to do, i always mess things up,and they are still friends with me,even though i dont deserve it, i dont know what to do, ive been 2 months clean and have been stuggling, i feel like killing myself, i cant do anything right, i cant eat, work out, draw, be a good person, i cant even cry, its so hard too cry, i cant do it, im not even human, i dont derseve to be one, i dont even deserve to live,