I want to disappear tbh. I crave nothingness. I want to disappear. I talked about this to my sister's when I was in a state of vulnerability, but instead of receiving comfort i faced criticism. all my family are dedicated Muslims while me? well, I don't believe in God. They told me God would punish me in hell, we were given life and i need to be grateful they said. but i never wanted this life. when i was 4 years old i've always been curious about death, at first i believed in God, heaven and hell. until i saw my other sister cracked her head open right Infront of me when she fell. Then i get harassed, disgusting, perverted words disguise as jokes. I prayed for it to stop, it never did. until i moved to the city a year ago, i get bullied a lot. harassment never stopped. Until i had a breaking point and started harming myself... my mother forced me to the psychiatrist, i thought they cared...haha no. she also made me do exorcism cause a demon possessing me she said. bullshit.