I feel like I'm back to square one. For 2 or 3 years, I was working on myself, trying to get to know myself and start loving myself, despite having no close friends. And it was all good for a while. I was pretty happy with life. Then something happened but I don't know what and it just caused my to shrink into myself. It mightve been exam stress. I was really down for a while and I just stopped doing things. Then when I got out of that episode, any remainance of a social life I had was gone. Even my siblings don't like me anymore and it sucks. So I'm depressed, again. Everyone's acting like it's my fault. But maybe it is. I kind of regret not working on my communication at all over the years. And now it's too late. 3 years of work down the drain. I hate myself. I wish I was a better big sister. I don't even know who I am anymore. The only thing I can identify myself with is my passion for writing. Maybe if I write a good enough story, my presence will be worth something. who knows?