my first love was pure, no sex. but it was wrong because we were both girls. my parents, my teachers, wanted me to get with the guy that was sexually abusing me online. he tore away my identity and did not let me be nonbinary. he cheated on me with a man and i believe he was transfem and in denial because the other members of his system called him a She. whatever it was, he hated me for not being a man, for not being whatever he wanted. he was angry that i was in his life but threatened suicide every time i became awkward or quiet. we didnt have sex but the things we did do i still feel like i lost my virginity and innocence. and i was trauma bonded to him. believing he was the only way i could get married. my bff and partner came out as transmasc. he saved me when i had started using substances to cope. i was doing good and free from all my groomers in a happy relationship, then got SAd by a mutual friend of ours. now he is different around me and we dont get intimate. im ruined.