me and my current boyfriend have been together for 4 years.(2022) We broke up after our 1st year and got back together a few months later. Before the breakup it was a very toxic relationship. I held him while he cried about how much he regretted leaving me and I ran back into his arms. I feel so pathetic thinking about it. During our break up I got into contact with me bsf/ex.. I have an ex this was an online relationship but we lived in the same area. we were together for about a week when we were both young But I can say we truly loved eachother, it’s been 6 years (2020) since the breakup and we got close to getting back together even almost have sex. Until I got back with my toxic bf. We still talk and hang out but I found that my feelings for him never went away. I’ve began having dreams and thoughts wandering if this is okay. Am I only with my bf bc of my attachment issues or do I love him? It’s been years it would hurt to leave him now. I’m not even sure if my feelings are right