Oh god. I realized I couldn't have been consenting to the things I did with my abuser because he groomed me and I was trauma bonded to him. It didnt matter that I was practically begging for him to make a move on me. I never wanted to be sexual with him in the first place. I cant fuckin handle this Im spiralling really bad but Im not gonna hurt myself, I just feel so so sick Oh my god its literally been 12 years