I always feel so inadequate when I'm hanging out with my friends. They talk to each other and they seem like they would never leave each other out but when it's me I always feel like I'm going to lose my place. I rarely ever feel like I'm "in" when I talk to people especially in groups. A bunch of people tell me they think I have autism and I hope they're wrong because I don't want to be stunted. It's like there's something wrong with me that everyone else can see but I can't fix. I get angry about it but it feels like whenever I'm upset it's irrational but when they're upset it's suddenly an issue. I feel like I have to work ten times as hard to get to a level everyone was born at. I've been told I don't pick things up as easily as other people do. It makes me feel dumb. I try so hard to be social and it's a constant uphill battle. Even then I feel cornered in with other freaks. I'm rarely ever able to escape my circle. They say it's not a bad thing but they're dead wrong and coping.