my father chose not to come to my wedding this week. not just that, but he chose to leave town for these few days because he didn't even wanna be in the same city where it was happening. all because i'm a lesbian. which he has known for seven years now because i have been with my now wife for seven years. i didn't really expect him to show up but it still hurts that he chose not to. it's not the first time he rejects or hurts me but this one is worse in a way because it has dampened the experience so much. i might be a grown up... but i still need my parents. and i hate it. he was never there for me in the last ten years or so, since i was around ten. but i still foolishly hope that one day he will choose to be. he is a much better father to my younger siblings than he is to me. i don't understand why they are worth the inner work for him, but i am not. he still is not perfect, of course - but not cruel either. to them. but not to me.