every single person i’ve let down, every thing i didn’t do differently, every single fucking mistake i’ve ever made, aka my life. just knowing that my mental state is so so so bad, i cant even function properly without self harming, planning my death, attempting, and thinking about relapsing. but when im about to kill myself i think about every important person in my life. my best friend who’s been there for everything, he’s told me stuff he hasn’t told anyone else and same for me. my crush, she’s the sweetest girl on earth, shes so fucking good to me. my close family, knowing that i’d leave them with only memories and photos instead of being able to talk to me in person or on text active, really hurts. every night i think should i kill myself, relapse, go to a mental hospital, vent to my best friend, or not say or do anything at all.