I wish I was wanted. The only thing my parents ever did for me was five me attachment issues and a void so deep ill never be able to fill it. No amount of substance can patch me together again and I want to drown myself in alcohol or fry my brain with drugs so I'll never be again. I mourn the version of myself I was 3 years ago. Back when I was bright eyed and bushy tailed. I had energy motivation. I used to create great art. I used to be a great person. The closest I'll ever be to someone is through limmerence. I want to crawl into their skin. I want to become them. I can't get close enough because I just want to be loved and accepted with all of my flaws and not thrown away like my parents did. They will die and I will kill myself after living so many years. I had my life robbed from me by people who should've cared about me and kept me safe. I'm in so much pain I can't even cry, I have nightmares every night. And when im awake I wish every second I went and numb my senses with tv