I can’t seem to fix myself. I contacted my ex a month ago, and we have been talking since. She currently is dating someone and we call every night. She tells me how her sex life is and tells me about her partner, as well as very personal stuff about herself. In return I promise to buy her stuff, and promises of her coming to my apartment to cuddle and hang out. I always complain to her too. I’m always saying sorry about the kind of man I was when we dated and I’m always complaining about trying to get better, and yet I keep saying the same things and not changing. And I keep talking to her. I love her, more than anything, and she helps ground me. But sometimes she gets mad, tells me all the things I used to do. And it was me. I was a bad person. And yet I’m not changing, just acting the same through a different lense. I want to love her, to care. But I can’t. And she’s dating someone, yet im still here. Sleep calls and all. I don’t know what’s right or wrong. About her and about me.