ive been feeling bad lately. actually this one comes and goes. but it got me again right now. why do i feel so incompetent in everything. im not even pretty, im dumb, academically socially. im not fun to be around. just looking at my picture or videos taken by someone else feels like a shit. no wonder if no one likes me, guys i mean, i know guys are not everything but isnt it normal to feel like i wanna be loved by someone? like normally. others do that too. if i were a man, i wouldnt even like someone like me either. not fun. not even good to look at. im so terrible. how could i walk down the earth with all confidence with the way i look? i dont have anything to be proud of. surely theres to be grateful for but... nothing special. im gonna have a group project for 40 days in a village and they chose me to be an activity division. im so dead. how could someone like me handle it? im inexperienced. i dont even join any organization in college. i got nothing in my head about it.