I realized something today. My mother/family will never understand me. I can’t even trust to confide in them about anything. My mom always treated my younger brother better than me. When I was younger my mom would hit me, etc whenever I spoke against him, etc. She doesn’t even hit my brother when he hits her. She’s always been emotionally available for her while for me I had no one. She lets him go to his friends house, etc but doesn’t let me because she thinks everyone is trying to kidnap me. But here’s the thing I’M stronger than my brother. Whoever kidnaps me will be able to kidnap HIM?! I always feel isolated bc of that. Then there’s the problem with the iPad I have to share with him like my brother can hog the thing whenever it’s my time on the IPad and my mom will always take his side. I have no other electronic. I want to die. I haven’t taken much steps to that goal except using the tip of tape cutter and hoping that it’ll bleed.