I’m going to kill myself. I am going to jump off the roof of my hotel building late at night or early in the morning between Friday and Saturday. I just need to say that. It sucks that people who have cancer or something get to tell their loved ones they’re dying and say goodbye and I can’t because they’ll try to stop me. My life is worthless. I am worthless. I tried very hard my entire life and it was never good enough and I’m tired of being miserable every day. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried medication, I’ve tried alcohol, nothing helps. Because the objective fact of the matter is that my life is not worth living. And I’m tired. I pray I’ll have the courage to jump because I’m afraid of heights. But I don’t have a gun, so this is the surest way I can actually die and not fuck up like I have a dozen times before (I lost count when I hit 10 attempts in 1 year.) I REALLY just want to die, since I’m no fucking good at anything except suffering.