why am I like this all I'm doing is wasting resources that other people have worked hard for and others deserve and need more whatevers wrong w me isnt obvious, although that's an advantage sometimes, a lot of the time it just doesn't make sense why I'm struggling or that I'm having a hard time to other people if I panic my face just looks bored my voice doesn't sound like I'm going crazy it's too flat or monotonic or like it's nothing serious I just look like I'm ignoring someone or I spaced out but I need help I just need help with dealing w so many things but it's like I would need someone to hold my hand throughout the year just helping me sort through everything and help me remembr or focus it wouldn't be realistic Id be wasting so much time and resources when I shouldn't be because I should be able to do thos all myself I'm supposed to be eldest but I cany help out as much w our family's problems because I get sick too easily but I need to help so we can get out of this