I've always prioritized being a good student and dedicating time to my studies. However, following a childhood riddled with ridicule and tumult, that desire ultimately combined with my underlying and obsessive compulsion to please others and be liked. As a result, my insecurities festered and I could no longer be at peace with myself; I had to receive validation from every individual I talked to. It got way out of hand--a loose definition that essentially means my mental health plummeted and consequently affected my grades. This year, I received two C's in two relatively easy classes. Instead of summing up the courage to admit that I didn't work hard enough because I was caught up in my fervent contempt towards myself, I lied to my parents and told them my report card consisted of all A's. Now, I can't bear to think about the fact that my college pursuits are over. Also, I'm at a venerated school, so everyone around me is incomprehensibly intelligent and diligent. I don't belong.