I feel so angry- angry that I cannot speak up to you. I nod and listen to everything you say, yet you do nothing but complain. You keep pushing me into uncomfortable situations because that is something you want from me. I keep swallowing my protests down. I am so exhausted from pretending that all is well. What do you not understand? I want to run far away. I don't want to look back. I don't want to keep conforming myself to fit you. I take a stand and you push back twice as hard. This shouldn't be so difficult. you keep acting so innocent and believe in not staining another person's heart. Do I not count as that said person? Or do you just get a free pass to mishandle and practice your mind games on me? I am so upset I don't have a choice to spend my time elsewhere. I wish I could disappear. I don't want to see you anymore, even if you have done things for me. I don't find soulistic peace, I think I will loose my mind.