It feels kind of embarrassing but I need to let that all out somewhere. I recently came clean to my mother about the fact that i snort coke and the following conversation just made me rethink last six years. We were talking about me going to the psych ward again and she said she's afraid that I'll start to use hard drugs and I just dropped the fact that I've been snorting blow for the last two years. When I told my mom she was so heartbroken. But then she dropped a bomb about how she knew that would happen when I got out of esoterics. Apparently her "astropsychologist" six years ago told her that my only two paths in life are either becoming a drug addict or getting into esoterics. And now when I look back on conversations with my mother through the lense of knowing it just makes so much sense. I don't know how I feel about that