i'm spoiled. i'm living comfortably and cisgender and white and have access to $. i was supposed to be a musician. i was told i could take private lessons too late on, i didn't know that was an option until my last three years of hs. my former peers are all in conservatories and i go to a state college, I haven't played my instrument in a year. i'm in a degree where i'll do well, it fits my natural skill set, but i don't really like it and i'm struggling. i didn't know my resume was awful until someone who had everything i had applied for told me how to fix it after the fact. I'm grateful for the guidance, but i yet again figured it out too late. i scraped by with an internship because of a connection i got lucky to having. this all so first world problems. i know i don't deserve to feel bad because i have a cushion to land on but i'm miserable. why do i find things out so late? depression & other issues do not help. i should be grateful for what i have. i'm a terrible person.