Old vent I love my mom and my dad and I wish my life wasn’t so shitty and I don’t feel like I have a reason to complain as I deserve it for all the pain I’ve caused I feel like the more I say sorry the more people think I don’t mean it but I mean it every single time and it hurts and I wish people believed me I wish I was lovable i wish I believed people loved me my depression has gotten to the point where I’m not even scared of the things I used to be scaredd of like I used to be afraid of stuff like spiders or dying but now I don’t even know anymore and the things that brought me joy I’m losing motivation to do I feel like I’m actively dying and I need her but I feel like if I get help then I’ll be nothing but a freak My only option is to kill myself I’m not even living anymore I’m just… there.