honestly, i don't know if me and my bf will last knowing its long diatance, of course there will be hardships. But i feel like he hates me secretly, i told him he can leave if he wanted to. He persisted to stay and said he loves me genuinely, but i shit talked about him before when we broke up, since me and him were both in the wrong in the past. I don't know anymore, maybe i'd just wait for him to slowly grow tired of me so it wont hurt when he leaves. I just think I dont deserve him sometimes because im a terrible person in general and think its best for him to let me go and lower his ego of losing me again. :) Even tho i'll miss him, i think its just better for him to forget me and move on, i want him to find happiness even if it means im not there for him anymore. I want him to achieve so much, while i support him far away. I love him so much, enough for him to let me go and forget what we had because i feel like a burden he's carrying. I love you C.