it feels a little silly to be as worked up as I am over this, but i've been getting a lot of texts from this one friend. not even like weird stuff, just like...sending me things or asking when i'm free to hang out. but for some reason every time he contacts me i get just like this wave of dread? and i feel really bad about it because you know. he's my friend. but talking to him feels like the most terrifying thing and we have a hangout scheduled in five days, and thinking about it lowkey makes me wanna cry because i'm worried he'll hate me if I do anything wrong or god forbid try to cancel. he's done stuff like that before. and i'm really busy for like thr next month but I can't SAY that because i dont want him to get weird about it but also i can't take this and i feel like a shit person saying this about someone i'm supposed to like