This is just something that bothers me. I'm just so sick and tired of being told my health issues are just, "Anxiety." Its so stupid because what do you mean blacking out, month long fevers, dizziness, hearing noises that aren't there, and losing the ability to move my body is anxiety!? There's so much more as well. When I go to the doctors I get asked the following questions, "Are you pregnant?" "Are you anxious" "do you have any prior medical conditions?" And if i say no to any of those, "OH LOOK! ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!!" LIKE I PROMISE YOU, ITS NOT NORMAL TO NEVER SUFFER FROM ANXIETY OR MAJOR MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, AND THAN DEVELOP SEVERE ILLNESS, RESULTING IN WHEELCHAIRS AND PAIN. This isn't anxiety.

Man I can't even type as fast as I think. But life life's been fucked. I mean everywhere I scroll there's some fucked up shit that happened or found out about or a whole bunch of consumerism on my phone. Lol. I scroll too much. But damn. My life, how im living. It's just hard. Still living with the parents that abused me and failed to protect or do anything about when I got assaulted so it kind of destroys my mental health having to be around them. And all this shit I've been scrolling on my phone makes me feel so overwhelmed and disgusted. But I can't just not when it's a habit and I seek some type of comfort when my man doesn't talk to me. And me and my man's relationship hasn't been going the best. I'm only alive because I want to move out with my man as soon as I hit 18 next year. And time feels so gooddamn slow. I don't even know what to do. Therapy every week, but it doesn't help much, I'm so paranoid of telling them too much and being sent away. The shit on my mind isn't normal.

Empty out of body, and and overwhelming urge to hurt physically