am I a selfish person if I want my partner to want to die?... its not that I dont love her. I do love her- so much that I dont think either of us can fully comprehend it. but we're both struggling with so much. she doesn't think she'll graduate, shes just giving up on her grades at this point. "ill just take the F, its never going to change." god I hate watching her suffer like this. she hates herself and she thinks shes dumb, and no matter what I do, I cant convince her how beautiful and amazing and lovely she is. but somehow, even though she feels all this pain, even though she wont work towards any kind of future at all, she doesnt want to kill herself. and at this point I would rather she die and feel peace than have to suffer through this horrible life. and maybe part of it is that I want to kill myself, but I cant bear the thought of leaving her behind to feel even more pain, and my horrible selfish self just wants to finally have nothing keeping me here. im so fucking selfish