My depression has been so bad that I don't feel like I'm ever gonna get better. I know that's such a generally common thing for you with depression, but I have had little proof of that too. I have treatment resistant depression, failed to get better with almost 20 different medications, and have done all kinds of treatments. Im only 17, and I don't have a big outlook on my life, and I don't even know if I'm gonna make it to 18 in four months. Everything is hard right now, and it's even hard when I don't have anybody at home I can talk to about it, just my therapist. It's not like she isn't amazing, it's just that things happen when I don't see her, and I sit and think and think and think. It hurts, everything hurts. At night time, at 2 in the morning I really genuinely wonder if I'm actually doing anything, by still existing. I don't think I'm contributing to anything, and I don't think I'm making anything better for anybody. My family shouldn't be surprised if I don't make it to 18.