You know i've been doing so good with my mental health and i've gotten so far where where i was. But i just got so busy this school year and so i shoved my feelings aside and now that my schedule is finally calming down, all the feelings that i shoved aside for later are all hitting me at the same time, and i'm shutting down. Its the last 2 weeks of school and i haven't gone for most of this week and i have no clue why. I'm scared… I'm scared because I don't know whats happing to me and idk how to fix my self this time. I'm either crying my eyes out, numb, or surrounded by people and laughing and smiling and masking everything to the point where i even trick myself into thinking i'm ok for a short period of time. And I've been depressed for as long as i can remember so feeling shitty is nothing new but whats happening to me and how weirdly i've been acting is scaring me. I don't want all the therapy and hospitals i've had to goo to & for all the DAMN PROGRESS IVE MADE TO BE FOR NOTHING