I am so close to ending it, but I don't want to leave them my friends my family everyone to mourn me. I have the worst combo of everything I am paranoid ADHD autism perfectionist I am lazy but I am hard on my self even if I am so drained I can't do anything I probably have some undignosed personally disorder knowing from the fact I lash out at everyone and it's so annoying I do think if I did end it it would be better for well everyone I have thought of doing it and have been close to doing it multiple times and the only time I feel at peace is night when it's just me in my room with no one just me. And I wish it could stay that way
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